what's your story?

so. i've explained it to a few people. but...i've never FULLY explained it to myself. i know, that doesn't make a whole lotta sense, but...it's true. so with that...let's see where this goes, shall we? 

"Why do you want to be a nurse?" 

it's been said time and time again. "i want to help people. i want to make a difference. it's a family thing"...while all those answers are pretty legit and answer the question...it's not enough. and they don't do it for me. for me: the answer is closer to something along the lines of "because i'm good at it". hear me out on this one. in med science, HCT, PCT...it just came to me. it came naturally to me like some people understand algebra. or the way some people can pick up a basketball and become a mini jordan. we're all given gifts, i believe. we're all blessed to have certain areas in our lives where we get to be on top, where we get to be #1. growing up, i didn't have a lot of those areas. i always did well in school, and didn't have to start "working" at it until college. but these classes were different than my language or reading or even chemistry classes. they were more intense. more focused. required more of me. and i produced. time after time, i found myself actually getting it. we would learn new material on monday. by friday we had already been quizzed on it. and were just beginning our weekly test. it was a fast-paced, gotta get it quick type of class. and i did. i never picked up my notes to study. week after week i was getting the highest grade in the class. i was intrigued by the material. so intrigued that i was just soaking it all up. i was good at it. and i was enjoying myself. 

that's not the end of my thought....but...i'm not sure exactly where i want to go with this post. 

i'll edit later.  

the path continues.

wow it's been quite a while since i've updated this ol' thing...let's recap.

i have since completed what i like to call the "first round" interviews for the roadways scholarship. i met just with jennifer and her new assistant, andrea. it went rather well, i'd say. jennifer has a lot of confidence in me, which in turn helps me feel positive about my abilities and my chances of getting further with this. she even went as far to say that if it was up to her and andrea to choose the recipients, that i would have a guaranteed spot. =) 

from here, i wait the rest of october and they hope to have the final interviews scheduled for mid-late november. but for sure before christmas. at that interview, i'll meet with a panel of representatives: cardiologists, neurologists, pediatricians, an HR rep from CHW are just a few that'll be there. we all sit around a table...and. well. talk. they ask me questions, find out who i am, what i want to do with my career, why i'm choosing what i'm drawn to, etc. while a part of me feels it's going to be extremely intimidating and nerve daunting, a bigger part of me is super stoked. i interview better than i make myself appear on paper (or at least i'm told) so this will give me a chance to let the selection committee see who i really am, and explain my story. i'm excited. 

if all goes well, i'll be accepted. that means: CHW will pay for the rest of my education as i get my nursing degree. it also means i've got a for sure-set in stone-no backing out job for a minimum of 3 years. not too shabby. it also gives such an EXCELLENT chance to network. but more than that, i get in right away. =) haha. 

rumor has it chandler/gilbert is in the working phases of beginning an accelerated program. if that's up, the first group will begin this upcoming may and finish in 18 months. no summer breaks. based on my education history, jennifer says i'm a perfect match for that program. if it's up, she's highly recommending me for it. if it's not, then i'll begin nursing school in fall '09. 

so that basically recapped my interview/meeting. but as for school, 202 is a lot different than 201. i'm enjoying it oh so much more than 201. no matter how much i enjoy it though, i'm ready to be done with school and working already. 

but...all in good time... 

roadways roadways roadways...

i dropped off my roadways scholarship the other day...i dunno what's gonna happen with it. i dunno if i'll hear back soon. later. ever. i dunno. i'd LIKE it to all work out. i'd love to get it. i'd love to work with the junior high program and academy...but. only time will tell. 

if i DON'T. then the prayers remain that my timestamp is pulled and i begin in the Fall of 09. 

so either way...prayers are needed =) hahaha. 

and countdown begins.

the application is in. entered in the database. and a timestamp will be given august 22nd. 

from here out it's just a waiting game....

keep your fingers crossed. 

grades are in.

My first exam as a nursing student (well, baby nursing student. haha) is completed, submitted, and graded. 78.9 was recorded. The grade sheet that went around class on Thursday said 79.3. Interesting? Either way. It's a C+. Better than I did on my first A&P exam 3 years ago by 3 percent. While it's not as good as I would have liked, it's a bit better than I was expecting. 

Unfortunately I can't say the same about my lab exam I took the night before. I was expecting at least a B. I got a 77.8. Arg. I'm sensing a pattern. haha. I know what the tests are like now, I know what my teacher is looking for. This next section exam should be better. Plus it's only 3 chapters, not 6. =/ 

Tomorrow marks the beginning of week 3 for the class. I'm over half-way done...it's surreal. I'm excited! Fall will bring A&P 2 and spring will be the dreaded Microbiology. ooof. I'm not sure how that'll go...

I realized after some things that were mentioned this weekend, I'm more sure that this is the route I'm supposed to be taking. While there's plenty I don't know, and I can't really imagine what the actual program will be like, I'm excited about the class still. I'm happy when I talk about it, I'm willing to commit my time and energy into learning the stuff (well, I'd still rather slack off and relax- it IS summer). But even when I'm at work, I'm more positive and happy; I know that my days are limited. When they ask me about class, I light up and am excited to share...

It's finally starting to feel right. 

hitting the trochlea. just not humerous.

so, i was seeing all the people i graduated with (or at least went to school with) stepping up and starting careers. exciting ones, the big kinds that make you realize life isn't gonna sit back and wait while you decide it's ok to grow up. and the cool thing is, they were documenting (or for my tech savy generation: blogging) that exciting process- from choice, to interview, to testing, to the cudegra: the contract offers.

in light of the career change i decided was necessary a mere 2 months before my last college final, i thought i should jump on the bandwagon. hey, who said at 21 it was still important to be a leader and not a follower? in the short 2 weeks i've been at this 'nursing school' kick, i've realized a LOT of things. it's a completely different game now than it was 3 years ago when i took my first swing at it. i'm a completely different person than i was at that time. heck i'm a completely different person than i was 3 months ago. i've seen those changes, and i'm sad that the thoughts i've thought, the lessons i've learned, the experiences i've experienced have been left to memory.

i'm a child of the technical generation. i'm also a product of the "me" generation, the "instant gratification" generation. and a middle child. (had to throw that in there for good measure.) what i'm getting at is this: i want something tangible, something that will fully express how i endure the next two years of what will ultimately be the most trying time of my life. enter this blog.

i'll be taking you (if there is anyone out there bored enough to actually read this) through what i'm going through. if nothing else, this is an excellent outlet for me to filter through the process.

if anything, i'm excited. i know i want this. that's what was different than last time. i wasn't ready to decide. i was too scared, and i wasn't ready to commit (shocker.) but...i'm 3 years older, wiser, and more mature now. i know what i want in life. and i know how to get it. will it be hard work? yes. will there be endless weeks that try not only my patience and the human ability to stay awake but also my determination? yes. but i know those are temporary, and the results that will come of them are far greater. and THOSE are what i want.

so i'll put one set of metatarsal bones and phalanges in front of the other...and step, keeping my orbital sockets on the horizon.